Thursday, September 30, 2010

Moving back to Singapore, for good.

Sitting in a cafe now, while 2 cleaners in my flat are cleaning it out before I finally fly back.

It's a very bittersweet moment for me, leaving this life in London. Cliche I know but I wouldn't have thought it would be bitter at all. After all, I've always hated the London weather and always been wanting to go home. But the fact is, I've worked here for 5 years. Life isn't particularly easy but I've gotten so used to it. The friends I made, both outside of work and within, make me quite sad to leave. It would be unimaginable to myself just 3 months ago, but saying goodbye to my colleagues as I stepped out of the office for the last time was very emotional.

Nevertheless, as sad as I am leaving this life I currently live, I'm looking forward to the life I will have in Singapore. Finally settling down together with luen. Getting and doing up a place of our own, going on short trips to Bali or Phuket together, getting a car, hosting friends over at our place... I could go on and on. Thinking about all these makes me realise how much I had been missing out on. Well, it's time I finally had a life.

I'm 30 now. Spent almost a decade abroad and away from my family, and five years away from luen. Do I have any regrets? Would I have done anything differently? I don't really know. Perhaps I could have spent more of my youth snowboarding more(but then I wouldn't see luen as much) Perhaps I should never have started playing world of warcraft (but then again I wouldn't have met a bunch of fantastic Malaysian friends). Perhaps I should have abandoned my job 5 years ago and stayed in California. Perhaps I could have worked harder, or involved myself with more of the political tussles in the workplace. Whatever it is, here I am, finally, contemplating my past overseas experiences and my future in Singapore.

So this is it, the end of a long chapter in my life, and also the beginning of a new one.