Doing nothing

Christmas hols 2008.

Stayed at home. Doing nothing.

The tube was down. Shops were closed. Restaurants were shut. The gym was... I've run out of synonyms... There wasn't really anything I could do.

I watched 3 seasons of "How I met your mother", 2 seasons of "Battlestar Galactica" and one season of "Californication"... and only because I've already watched Heroes, House MD and Grey's Anatomy.

It got me thinking that I'm not such an introvert as I thought I was. I like hanging out with friends. I like going out (tho i hate crowds).

I hate to admit it, but more than 2 days alone doing nothing is lonely...

End of year "performance review"

Last year I made some new year resolutions... time to reflect on my performance...

• Get in touch with about 50% of my aquaintences. A superpoke doesn't count. At least a wall post.

Well... I think I massed-superpoked once... but I don't believe I did get in touch with at least 50% of my aquaintences... Maybe next time I should set some more realistic goals.

• Be proactive and productive in my work. So far I've been passive in doing assigned jobs. But any well educated person can do that. I need to do more.

Nope as well... the past year was the most unmotivated part of my working career. Too much distraction about job losses and all that crap. No motivation in doing my best. Sigh...

• Be a do-er in every aspect of my life. Too many times I have toyed with ideas or felt like doing something (such as organising a meeting with friends) but I simply procrastinated or felt it was too troublesome and then gave up the idea. I realise that some ideas cannot be pursued, but I will try harder not to hesitate and just do it

What the hell was I thinking? Erm well, at least I'm starting to hit the gym... that's considered doing something right?

• Play less wow. *glurp*

Yes! Yes! Yes! Finally something I achieved. I've given up wow. And find myself with so much more time :).

• Care more about the other people around me. With the exception of my gf, I forget birthdays, I don't buy presents, I don't even pay attention on who's going away on holidays and when. To be honest I'm really surprised I have some amazing friends.

Slowly, I'm trying. I know who's on holidays this christmas. And I do make an effort to remember birthdays... I do try - tho I still forget sometimes... or most of the time...

• Visit Paris. So many years in London and I've never been to Paris. I'm ashamed.

Er no.. haven't been to Paris yet. No excuses...

So, in the span of the year, I seem to have lost track of what I wanted to achieve. Maybe this year I'll set even less ambitious targets...

Random funny conversation

A - "You won't want anything from a man..."

B - "What I want from a man? His car, his money and his women."

A - "copy-paste"

B - "can you leave out 'his women'?"

A - "I'll leave out 'his car' and 'his money', so she wont think you're materialistic"

B - "thanks dude, appreciated..."

Job cuts... part 4

Last monday, I took a half day off. Just to take time off, you know... cus there was just too many layoffs and the morale was bad, and there wasn't really much to do in the office and I still had some excess holidays to spend...

I came home at 1plus. I got a message on my mobile phone, "Where are you man?? Are you alright? Dont be leaving your desk like that man..."

Hahaha. I had to reply "yeah i'm fine, just taking some off days."

Two hours later i got another message from someone else, "Are you alright?"

Gosh... these layoffs are really making everyone paranoid eh. I found myself apologising to like 10 people who were worried that I got cut...

So for the record, pple, I'm still employed. Barely, still hanging on...

Job cuts... part 3

I'm still employed. Just got back from dinner with a broker. A little bit too much to drink.

But I'm fine. Relax. Breathe...

There might still be cuts.. when I'm fired dont worry, u'll be first to know since I'll have much time to blog...

Job cuts... part 2

Surprise!!!

I thought (and so did many others) the cuts would come Dec 15. It came early.

Today, a few colleagues (some of them I do count as reasonably close friends) were fired. All of them from sales and structuring. Quite a handful of them.

Its a sad day.

How it happens:
- Usually happens in the morning.
- You don't see the managers.
- Person gets a call to go to a meeting room.
- Person gets into room, sees manager together with unknown third person, from HR.
- Unknown third person delivers the news.
- He tells you that a) nothing has changed - you're still being employed b) you have been made "at risk of redundancy" c) hands you a package of sorts explaining your redundancy package and other employment opportunities d) mentions that you have a month to look for another opportunity within the bank and finally e) tells you that your login will be deactivated and "suggests" that you collect your personal items, leave your pass, and that you'll be "escorted" out of the building.
- meanwhile manager's boss summons your team to a room and delivers the news.
all very short and sweet.

Some exceptions. Today, somehow, they were more humane. They allowed those cut to come back to the floor and say their goodbyes. Freakin upsetting I tell you... what the hell do you say to a colleague, a friend, that has been let go?

I recall this morning....

"Where's Mika?" I ask, in a chatroom.

"In a meeting probably", another friend answered.

Half an hour later, he says, "now I'm worried for Mika."

A few moments later, Mika comes to me, with his jacket on, with very sombre, sad eyes. I look at him, raise my eyebrow in a quizzical look.

He nods.

I don't know what to say! "Well... lets meet up for coffee sometime... Take care..."

"Yes. Or maybe football. Or maybe some other bank, sometime, somewhere..."

I patted his arm and repeated, "take care, all the best", then turned away and pretended to work. I could see tears welling up in his eyes and I am ashamed to admit tears were welling up in mine as well. I couldn't say anything anymore and I didn't want to look at him or listen to what he had to say. He squeezed my arm, then took off, leaving me struggling to contain my emotion in the fckn "my d*ck is bigger than yours" trading floor.

Today the sales and structuring teams were cut. Rumours are that the cuts for trading will happen tomorrow. If you don't see a post from me tomorrow, don't fret, most likely I'm just celebrating my continuing employment.

Fingers crossed...

Job cuts...

So the news is out.. there will be another round of job cuts in the next two weeks. 5000 people to be cut in the division, 1000 from the UK. Already many of my colleagues in HK have been "let go". Everyone is getting paranoid. My mum called to check if I'm ok. She said she'll pray for me at the temple. I think if I get cut, I'll just go home. The job market is so bad that it will probably take me like half a year to get any decent position anywhere...

Not to worry tho... I've already suffered a 30% paycut due to the GBPSGD fx rate... and a 30% cut in my investments... losing a job is no biggie.. pff not like I'll be getting a huge bonus this year, if i'm getting any at all.