Singapore misunderstandings...

I was having a conversation with a French guy who just joined. He has a very interesting sense of humor. The conversation went like this..

he: "Do you swim?"

me: "Yeah, a little. But I mostly swim in Singapore, not here. There aren't any decent sized swimming pools in London."

"Yeah. And they're dirty."

"Well, not really that dirty... but the ones in Singapore are cleaner."

"Yes, I'd bet. You can't even fart in the swimming pool right?"

"Yup. They added some kinda chemical in the pool. When you fart the chemical turns purple..."

"uh huh, and the lifeguard will pull out a machinegun and rat-tat-tat..."

"..."

"The police isn't very funny in singapore right?"

(not sure how to reply) "yeah, they're not really funny." (i mean, how funny can they get? imagine going up to them and telling them a joke, you think they'll laugh?)

"You can't even chew chewing gum right?"

(why does it always have to go to chewing gum??)
"No. you can chew it, just that you can't buy them in singapore" - elaborate a little more on the technicalities...

"So, is it allowed to kiss and hug in public?"

(!?!?!!)

"Yes, it is allowed..." (then an image of a couple snogging on the bus comes to mind.. zoom out a bit and you see a few aunties sitting behind them shaking their heads and "tsk-ing" away)

"oh because I read somewhere that it wasn't allowed... oh maybe thats malaysia"

"yeah perhaps. they do have some conservative muslims in some states"

"so what about the people in singapore?"

"well, we have about 70% chinese, 20% malay, 10% indian" (eh rough estimate la, don't correct me..)

"so what are you?"

"... I'm Chinese."

"Chinese? Chinese?"

"Yes."

"You don't look Chinese. You seem too fair to be Chinese. Don't you agree? Like B, he's darker."

(yup, i'm pale...)
"Yeah I guess. So what do I look like?"

"Korean"